How to Bring Up a Prenup and Negotiate with Your Fiance/Fiancee

A prenuptial agreement is a tricky issue among engaged couples, despite the fact that many have experienced the benefits from this document. This legal agreement can protect each spouse’s finances in the event that the marriage ends. To many, the possibility of the marriage ending, however remote, is an uncomfortable subject to bring up, especially before the marriage even begins.

If you understand the advantages of a prenup but aren’t sure how to discuss it with your significant other, you’re not alone. Some common questions we get are: “How do I broach this subject?” “How do you negotiate a prenup?” and “How do I get my partner to sign a prenup?”

Read these tips to help you lead a peaceful, productive discussion.

How do I discuss and negotiate a prenup with my fiance/fiancee?

• Start early and give it time. Initiate the discussion early on in your engagement. Don’t wait until your wedding day is close, as this may make your partner feel pressured or manipulated. After you bring up the subject, give your partner some time to consider it. It may be possible they’re not as comfortable with the subject as you are and might need some time.

• Start by asking for their opinion. To open the conversation, ask your partner about their opinion on having a prenup. If they’re opposed to a prenuptial agreement, ask for the reason and sincerely listen to their answer. They might have a concern that you can help assuage with a calm, open-minded discussion.

• Emphasize the benefits for both of you. Despite what many believe, a prenup isn’t meant to protect just one person in the relationship. Remind your partner that both of you benefit from it, such as getting your finances in order and preventing bitter money disputes (which are common among couples that don’t have prenups). Your partner will have a say on how to handle financial matters if something happens to the marriage.

• Include the benefits for children. A prenuptial agreement may specify if you or your partner wish to allocate or pass along assets towards the welfare of your children. It can also exclude the children from debt liability from you or your partner. In other words, this document safeguards the children’s future even if the marriage turns rocky. This applies to children you and your partner have together and to any children you or your partner have from a prior relationship.

• Emphasize that the two of you co-create the agreement. It’s not just one of you writing the document and then getting the other’s signature. Creating the prenup entails two parties discussing the details as equals and having a lawyer write the draft to make it legally sound. It’s best that each of you also has an attorney for legal advice. This way, both have a fair opportunity to advocate for what they are entitled to.

• Get a lawyer for a prenup consultation. Invite your partner to consult a prenup attorney together or separately. This isn’t to prepare for an antagonistic process but to guide the two of you on the advantages of a prenup and how to make it tailor-suited to you both.

Why does my fiance/fiancee want a prenup?

If, on the other hand, your partner has raised the subject of a prenup, it doesn’t necessarily mean they want to keep things from you or don’t trust you. It also doesn’t mean they anticipate divorce. This agreement is simply a rational way to protect both of your futures.

More and more couples are seeing the advantages of entering a prenuptial agreement. These benefits include:

• Keeping your respective personal assets separate
• Outlining what each of you is entitled to if you’re growing your wealth together
• Setting fair parameters for spousal support, in case it becomes necessary
• Protecting the interests of any children from prior relationships
• Clarifying inheritance rights in a blended family
• Helping prevent Family Law disputes concerning finances and rights.

If you don’t feel comfortable with your partner’s prenuptial suggestion, don’t feel pressured to agree. A prenup agreement is something that the two parties must enter willingly. If you have concerns, you can speak with an experienced family law attorney for legal advice specific to your situation.

Contact a Family Law Attorney at Shea Kohl Law

If you’re going into a prenuptial agreement, get the guidance and representation of a reliable attorney. The Family Law attorneys at Shea Kohl Law are trusted in Missouri for their practical and efficient counsel on prenuptial agreements and other legal marital issues.

Call Shea Kohl Law at (636) 946-9999 to schedule a confidential consultation.